PS

June 5, 2008

I said that this blog is dead and it is but I had to share this gem of a quote i stumbled upon in youtube comments. You may leave you utterly bemused but hits the spot for me.

jesusloveschad: (talk about jesus) … I’m going to get off here and pray for you right now!! Loving you, bro!

IvanisovitschGrozny: (more talk about jesus)  … PS. I find it very hard to love total strangers, but I think I do like you Chad.

I found this in the very surreal context of of The Velvet Underground’s song “Jesus” set to passages from the bible and scenes from the Passion of Christ. I image that the auteur was unaware that the velvet underground were and band awed by heroin and named after a pulp fiction porn novella.


Upload Festival & The End

April 16, 2008

the webcam dance game

  1. Upload Festival, my last group project is finished. I’m very pleased with it, it’s my first project which has a completeness to it and when it works properly it’s really good fun to play. You can play it at uploadfestival.org or watch it below.
  2. As I haven’t written on this blog in ages I’ve decided to kill it and start a new one at oliverbourne.com/blog/. I started it with an abstract abstract.

 


M & P – UGC – MSM – OMG

December 4, 2007

adorable cat

Non mainstream media can be anything from a moustache that remembers your last meal to a virus that destroys your computer and never says thank you. However usually it’s a picture of a cat looking adorable.

Mainstream media has millions of $$$ and £££ invested it and is produced by the best people in the business; non-mainstream media is oft produced by amateurs with little to no budget: so why bother with it?

Well, let me refer here to the MONORAIL CAT:
- Anyone can produce what they are interested in and oft they are interested in cats.

- They can share it with a huge potential audience in seconds.

- No one can tell them that cats aren’t proper form of content.

- If what you produce is crap no one cares because few will see it.

Monorail cat won’t provide you with hours intellectual stimulation; it won’t change your life and challenge your perceptions of love and life; it won’t provide a fitting replacement for the queen’s Christmas day speech;

but it will likely fill 30 seconds of you’re life with double concentrate JOY.


the return of the 24 hour essay

November 29, 2007

I’ve left my essay to the last 24, or more accurately 12 hours before the deadline once again. I don’t think it will be much of a problem, although I resent having to regurgitate what I’ve been ploughing and re-plough  for the last 6 weeks. I’d much rather have a straight theoretical problem which I can engage in and research rather than having to having to hoist myself out of the post-project doldrums in order to survey the wastelands once more.

My work ethic relies completely on enthusiasm and having to think in the doldrums feels like interrogation. Luckily I have red wine to re-ignite my romanticism and pretentious waffling and house & electro to propel me through the night.

I raise a glass to all thee who will see no sleep tonight.

Godspeed.


Mind Felled

November 26, 2007

I am currently on the comedown of three week PHP/mySQL binge and it has left me in a fragile state. I feel prone to launching into Ginsberg-esque despair: “PHP, I’ve given you all and now I’m nothing. PHP, I can’t stand my own mind”. A disc has slipped in my mind and my former masochism has displaced me into the third-person, sadistically looking back.

I have started contextual analysis therapy and the catharsis is soon to come.


Eureka (hopefully)

November 8, 2007

 Eureka

I think I’ve finally solved my issues with my database design. My problem was that I wanted to have tags and their related tags and have their related tags actually refer to original tags rather than have an array of tag names that are only strings. Also I wanted the solution to be normalised. There are plenty of solutions online for tags that refer to another object such as a url or a file but I needed the tags to refer back to themselves. My solution is to have 2 tables; one with the tag name and all other associated info; and another with 2 foreign keys both referring back to the tag_id in the first table. the first is just the same as tag_id, the second references the related tags.

Here’s the code anyway:

CREATE TABLE tags (
tag_id INT(4) UNSIGNED NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
tag_name VARCHAR(30) NOT NULL,
description TEXT,
num_of_tags INT(4) UNSIGNED NOT NULL,
date_born DATE NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (tag_id)) ENGINE = INNODB;

CREATE TABLE related_tags(
rtag_id INT( 4 ) UNSIGNED NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT ,
tag_id INT( 4 ) UNSIGNED NOT NULL ,
tag_rel_id INT( 4 ) UNSIGNED NOT NULL ,
PRIMARY KEY ( rtag_id ) ,
FOREIGN KEY ( tag_id ) REFERENCES tags( tag_id ) ,
FOREIGN KEY (tag_rel_id) REFERENCES tags( tag_id )
) ENGINE = INNODB

I’ll probably add some more indexes later.


update: Pixie Death

November 5, 2007

 Pummel

The exclusion of the pixies from my coding is bringing forth untold banks of structure and function; the myth of the ol’ PHP magic has been debunked. It’s now become clear that those pixies were fascist knowledge hoarding bastards and programming is quite simple, structured and unflowery. Although at first it may be hostile, pedantic and vigilant, once you begin to indulge and flatter it with it’s jargon and unusual grammar it becomes a lot more submissive and what once had you backed into the corner screaming for mercy you are now happily pummeling into your own web2.0-shaped topiary.


Second Me

November 2, 2007

avatar.jpgThis is my Second Life avatar, My name is Slim Camel.


Death to the Pixies

October 31, 2007

 pixies

The problem with Dreamweaver is there be magic in it:

it say

‘Pixies, weave me a vision, show me your magic’, but they never understand. If i say make me a basket and make it square Pixie say “it only comes in nonagon”

‘God damn you pixies when I say apples you give me pears, when I say apples and pears you give me stairs. Pixies teach me your magic and I’ll build us a fruitshop.’

Pixie say ‘You stay back with your beveled icons, it ain’t right to go meddling with that ol’ PHP magic.’

I say ‘Pixes begone, I’ve found a book that teaches me the magic in an accessible step by step format’


the MAX POWER masochistic launch

October 31, 2007

max power

Today, I am launching on MAX POWER into my authorship project. You may think that I should have launched 3 weeks ago but I’ve been calculating where I’m headed and in this case UP seemed quite elusive. In addition to this let me assure you that the masochistic eyelid rippling intensity of this launch will make up for any previous dithering and fastidious pre-flight checks. So to mark the occasion I will outline what my project will be:

MindField

It’s called MindField and it’s basically a collaborative brainstorming tool that uses the interrelations of tags to form a ‘web of tags’. Although rather than appearing as web like tradiotional brainstorms it’ll be more like a number of stacks of boxes with a heading above them. This is mainly due to technical restrictions as I developing an application that can actually display my info in the form of a proper brainstorm would take too much time, effort and probably require use of flash which would detract from the aim of this project: learning how to create dynamic websites with PHP & mySQL. Users will also be able to make ‘notes’(similar to comments) on tags which will be displayed in a pop-up bubble on hovering over items in the ‘mindfield’ (which I think require javascript); if i can find a tutorial and have time.

The homepage will be quite simple and google-esque with a logo, login form, searchbar and a large tag cloud that will help users begin using ‘MindField’ if their unsure of what to do or haven’t got anything they particularly want to search for. I’ve created a css template which you can view here, which s incidently hosted on my new site (oliverbourne.com) hosted for a year(dreamhost.com) for $9.50 with a ridiculous amount of space(500gb) and bandwidth usage. The catch is that if I carry on hosting with them next year it will be about over 10 times that, also it’s hosted in the US so accessing it from the UK isn’t quite as speedy.

Anyway I’ve tried to design it so it’s as quick to start using as possible and also as quick to expand as possible. The advantage of my ‘web of tags’ concept over having individual pages each with their own specific brainstorm (such as other collaborative brainstorm sites such as mindmeister.com do) is that once some has created a tag for say ‘life’ every time life comes up in a brainstorm it comes ready with a set of related tags that branch off from life and those branches then branch off again as they too come with a set of related tags. The number of branches coming off each tag would have to be limited and so would the number of levels the brainstorm has (according to popularity of each tag) otherwise it would become ridiculously overcrowded very difficult to use. This makes it very quick to expand and form a service that users would want to use.

The disadvantage of this method is that the brainstorms generated would probably be quite generic and not much use for specialist information or obscure or original connections. However it would provide a good way to quickly research the interrelations of a topic as perceived by the general public or at least the general obscure web app savvy public.

In order to encourage people to use the site I’ve tried to design it so that you don’t need to be a registered user to access it and you can do most things including search for and create/add to tags without registering. If you were a reg user then the advantages wold be that you could add notes to tags which would be recorded on a profile page and also the history of tags you’d visited. If the tag you search for isn’t already in existence then you will be taken to a simple form where you can add the tag and specify it’s related tags. I might even include the related tags field under the search bar and with “(optional)” next to it in order to cut one step out of the process and encourage as much tagging as possible. To ensure that the tags are all in the same format I would have some guidelines appear when you place you cursor in the searchbar such as; no capitals, separate tags with a comma, use underscores for spaces, ensure correct spelling. In addition to this I might write some PHP that removes capitals etc and reformats entered tags in the correct format. By doing this it would reduce the amount of different tags there are for the same subject.

I plan to use tag clouds to show an expanded version(in a pop-up bubble) of the related tags for each branch in a brainstorm or ‘MindField’ but apparently they are very difficult to do.

Also each tag will be accompanied by a wikipedia search link so that it’s easy for people to explore ideas that they have while using ‘MindField’. This expands the potential of the site very easily and gives wikipedia users (almost everyone) added incentive to use ‘MindField’.

Once the database has built up I would probably make it so only reg users could tag. I think that the walled garden model of user access is a very bad decision unless you already have a strong reputation or have a business plan for expansion such as targeting businesses or instituitions which is what I expect facebook did when started.